Can I get a little fish pee?

Hunting season is upon us here in the great state of Florida. My husband has been a life long fisherman, and he is pretty darn good at it, too! It is lots of fun to take the kids to the beach and fish from the shore, or out in the St. John's river in his boat. He is usually quite successful and we always have lots of fish in the freezer.

A few years ago, his long time fishing buddy became interested in hunting, therefore, my husband became interested in hunting. He already had thousands of dollars worth of rods and reels and tackle and nets. All of which was required to make him such a great fisherman. Now he has all the gear and gadgets for archery, general gun and muzzle loading seasons. OK, so I'm not sure exactly what all that means, but he has a huge camo bag that he fills with all kinds of gear. Heaven forbid he drop anything in the woods because everything is camo and he wouldn't find it in a billion years. I guess if he can't see it, the animals can't see it either.

Whatever the animals can't see, I promise you, they can smell. And they DO smell. I thought the smells and odors from a fisherman were rank. Last week I learned what STANK means.

It was Sunday,  late evening. My husband had gone hunting over the weekend. It was time to do some laundry for work the next day. I work part time in a medical office and I am required to wear scrubs. I have 3 sets. YES, I know I should have more, but I only work 3 days a week. It's so hard to buy ugly scrubs just for work when there are cute and sassy shoes and handbags that I can wear everywhere! And wouldn't you know it?? They are always on sale!, OK, OK, back to the story. I throw my  uniforms into the washer along with a couple other items just to make a full load. My routine is to wash them before bed, and in the morning throw them into the dryer while I shower. This prevents ironing, and I do anything to avoid ironing!

After my shower, I walk back past the laundry room and I noticed a smell. It wasn't too strong, but was definitely very unpleasant. When I opened the door, I was assaulted with what seemed to be weapons grade tear gas with a napalm chaser! It took my breath away and made my eyes water. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe, I could even taste it!!  WHAT THE??? Then I hear a "clunk" in the dryer. I braced myself and threw open the door. Ugh!! I reached in and pulled out the clothes and they were just revolting! Then I felt something in the pocket of my husband's shorts. His CAMO shorts.

Inside his pocket was a tiny brown vial with a loose lid. It had a cute little drawing of a deer on it. With much trepidation, I sniffed the bottle. And it smelled like death!  Please keep in mind that I have about an hour before I have to be at work, and ALL my uniforms are smelling like a skunk's nether regions. I called my husband many names, as I was praying to God that I could rewash the uniforms and it would get rid of the smell. It did and I was only a few minutes late to work. My boss couldn't even be upset after the story I told her. Her family are all avid hunters as well.

Turns out the little bottle is Doe urine. It is supposed to attract Bucks and hunters swear by it. They say in the commercials that "It's all you need to attract Big BUCKS!"

Makes me wonder if all these years all he needed was a little fish pee.

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